The Great Expert Blog

Kohlberg, Kravis, Roberts & Co (KKR) was launched in the seventies and orginally the company’s specialization was in leveraged buyouts. Recently, in a drive to make their acquisitions more environmentally friendly and more profitable as well, KKR have set up a unique green project that has entirely changed the method by which business concerns and environmental activists operate.

Environmentally friendly business practice became major discussion topic last year when KKR’s Henry Kravis and the independent Environmental Defense Fund (EDF) merged. Their objectives include encouraging companies in avoiding operations which may jeopardize the environment like climate change and any colossal water consumption. To follow through with these goals, they use a methodology called eco-efficiency; this involves techniques like maximum use of renewable resources, improving fuel economy through vehicle fleet maintenance, and using clean energy. The project was initially well received, but the businesses who were participating did not grasp the full program’s advantages until Ken Mehlman, the person in charge of the program, studied the project subsequent to a full year in operation. Ken observed that applying eco-efficiency wasn’t merely helping to conserve the environment, but it was also saving firms a remarkable sum of money. Currently, Kohlberg, Kravis, Roberts & Co and Ken Mehlman have almost each and every business in their portfolio taking part in eco-efficiency principles. Yet, when you consider that the group has a 2009 business portfolio worth $86 billion, you can be sure this wasn’t an easy see what a huge feat this is.

The Green Portfolio project now includes new and innovative initiatives. The Climate Corps Program established by the EDF is one of these, it raises awareness of earth friendly business techniques to students taking an MBA. More recently, Ken Mehlman has collaborated closely with Kohlberg, Kravis, Roberts & Co to create a series of metrics which a range of business concerns can employ to measure and oversee resources. These tools let management see how they are progressing and discover any underlying issues. The business community has been transformed permanently by the efforts of these individuals. These innovations have made going green less problematic for firms in every industry and demonstrated that running a profitable business need not entail the hefty price of damaging the environment.

See the Hyundai Tucson and the Hyundai Santa Fe Chicago two of the most dependable new and used autos on the road today. The Hyundai Santa Fe Chicago is the only choice for a pre-owned vehicle. The dependability of a later model Hyundai Tucson or Santa Fe is the best deal on the road today for a used car. Many people who have bought a old Hyundai select a Hyundai Tucson Chicago or Hyundai Santa Fe when it is time for a new car purchase as well.

Hyundai Tucson and Hyundai Santa Fe are priced thousands less to comparative other makes. The Hyundai Tuscon Chicago and Santa Fe are known for quality, safety and reliability and are standard features. When you test drive a Hyundai you will see why they have won so many awards.

The new Hyundai on the road is luxury, luxury and more luxury. The Hyundai Genesis Chicago and Genesis Coupe are just the beginning of Hyundais luxury automobile lineup. What tell you see the Hyundai Equus Chicago in fall of 2010. The Hyundai Chicago lineup is impressive enough to have BMW and Mercedes running for the drawing board.

Fuel-efficient Hyundais can help you save money on fuel costs. We hope Hyundai Chicago starts with electric cars first before introducing hybrid vehicles. Hyundai Hybrid and electric cars will be top of class. A sign of Hyundais dedication to hybrid vehicles is the use of the Lithium-polymer battery. For info on the Toyota Prius this site has some excellent info.

For a review of these and other Hyundai autos there are some great Hyundai Chicago websites. Here you will find Hyundai videos, Hyundai photographs, and recommendations from Hyundai owners. There are prices and information on performance of the Hyundai lineup from the Hyundai Sonata and Elantra to the Hyundai Genesis and Tuscon.

Options are a fantastic strategy, with brilliant possibilities for people who are trading to protect their profits and increase them and really being able to hedge.But, there’s one massive drawback with this and that is that most people don’t completely understand options. as a result of this, lots of folks actually get themselves into problems when they start trading with them.What individuals must do before trading live within the marketplace with real currency is to grow their options understanding.There are many organizations in the marketplace that can help them to do this, but, a a large amount lecture this back to front. They initially teach options trading strategy and after leave students to try to trade live in the markets.This is not correct because initially students need to be told the way to notice possibilities in which options can be utilized. Once they are able to do this adeptly then they can learn how to trade the correct options techniques and strategies. Ideally a traders education firm ought to also offer their students the opportunity to trade in real markets with skilled and profitable traders. This will enable them to get a good amount of expertise and be able to trade and advance their skill with people which will teach them well. See Options University Reviews for more information in this.

For individuals 2009 was a yr we’d rather forget. A worldwide depression, stock market upheaval and an overall feeling of unease have left a lot of people feeling unsure about next year.

Hopefully the next year will be a more acceptable year. Nevertheless there are steps we can take to help our finances.

1 thing we can do to get the situation into perspective is to look over our financial status. Whether it is your mortgage, outstanding borrowing, investments, income or purchasing patterns need to be re-examined regularly.
Carrying out a review will help you to discover where your finances can be bettered and where you should make alterations.

It is vital to review your investments & savings, to verify they are suitable to the amount of risk you are prepared to bear. It is also worthwhile looking at your credit cards, gas and electricity as well as house and car insurance to see if you could get a more acceptable deal. Even a little improvement could make a massive difference to your monthly budget.

Making the most of your yearly tax allowances such as ISAs, CGT allowances and retirement planning are also ways of shrinking the level of tax you could pay.
Whilst income and capital gains tax are important, the result of IHT should too be thought about.

Many people own assets in excess of the value of the Inheritance Tax Nil Rate band. Efficient tax advice can be used to reduce the total amount of tax their estates might have to pay.

For numerous people, the functions provided by Financial Advisers help them to review and implement amendments to their finances.

If you think that you would benefit from independent financial advice please contact us on 01454 321511.

Consilium Asset Management

1800Flowers.com began as a single brick and mortar florist shop about 35 years ago. Led by Jim McCann, the organization grew from strength to strength until it has become the biggest business of its kind in North America. The supply of the finest blossoms and presents, backed up by uncompromising service are the foundations of the business. And, with Valentine’s and Mother’s Day being the most busy periods, this business services scores satisfied customers every year. The selection of gifts offered is staggering. Among the blooms available are splendid blossoms at the peak of freshness like heliconias, tulips, gladioli and campanulas. Or how about a special gift such as scrumptious fruit or some luxury candies? There is also a huge selection of gift baskets, bouquets, potted plants, and cute toys to go along with the food and flowers. In short, it’s obvious just how trouble-free it is to send the perfect gift to the significant people in your life. Anytime you care to send a present, this customer centered company is right there at the other end of the telephone, or online if that’s simpler. Don’t forget it doesn’t have to be a special occasion to send a gift, sometimes the best gifts are the ones which have not been anticipated. Whether it is for someone special, or a client, there’s sure to be something to please them.

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Many bouquets of flowers are provided to express the right message to someone special. Spring flowers and luxury food baskets can make Easter extra special. Show your mother or grandmother how much you care for her with a gorgeous bunch of flowers or a selection of delicious treats. Or celebrate Halloween with a bouquet boasting some of the more exotic kinds of flowers. Why not cheer up a new mom with a stunning floral gift and send a wonderful present for her newborn?

Regardless of what you select or where its country of destination, 1800Flowers.com promises to satisfy everyone with food and flowers at the height of freshness. If you make your order by two PM, same day delivery is assured.

Everybody who orders is greeted in a courteous way by an employee or an web-based system that makes choosing the perfect present very easy. So take the tension out of coordinating gifts, so next time why not give 1800Flowers.com a call?

Orthodontic enhancement has often been considered as merely oriented towards servicing beauty conceits; however, this isn’t anything like the actual truth. Indeed, it’s a scientific fact that good oral hygiene has even wider consequences than people may believe. E.g. it may significantly impact your entire health and can vitally determine how frequently you may turn ill. Ongoing studies have reported some extremely troubling findings in terms of periodontal disease.

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Scientific inquiry has proven a crucial link connecting inflammatory gum disease and heart conditions. Individuals afflicted by gingivitis run a 25 percentage higher chance of developing heart disease, and it is held that the spread of inflammatory chemicals into the bloodstream stems from inflamed gums. The good news is that an esthetic dentist isn’t merely preoccupied with ways employed to lighten up your smile, straighten up crooked teeth, and fix caries, he is similarly proficient in identifying the start of gingivitis and is sure to deal with it before it becomes a system-wide problem.

Nevertheless, the notion of that ideal smile is hard to withstand for ever more people and with the most modern breakthroughs in dental augmentations the procedure has become substantially more relaxed and will efficiently prevent the degree of agony connected to it up until quite recently; as every cosmetic orthodontist who is up to par has most if not all advanced techniques pat. But read on to learn about a few methods by which that ideal smile has really advanced to become a possible viable option for everyone. Teeth whitening through in-office tooth whitening can help everyone look lots younger! Laser whitening is done in association with a coating of the teeth by using a specific type of gel and normally won’t take more than about 1 hr. at the dental surgery the exact time obviously being subject to the teeth’s specific state of degradation.

Molded out of materials such as silicon dioxide or quartz that have been combined with a resin, tooth bonding will also be accomplished at the dentist’s office and coated straight onto the tooth. It’s then hardened by a special laser and next the bonding substance can be shaped to remedy cavities, chips, discolorations and gaps. Deterioration of this material may come about in as short a time as 2 years, yet it can survive without the slightest issue whatsoever for up to 15 years and even longer, as a rule depending on your conscientious post-care. Veneers are ordinarily composed of porcelain and are fixed to the teeth with only a small amount of or no pain killers. Porcelain veneers are the top selection for a great majority of dentists and can service you with a perfect smile even in extreme condition of tooth deformity.

Thanks to the vast number of breakthroughs in cosmetic dentistry in the past few years, in addition to boasting that film star smile - you are even able to address the level of your health as a whole in the same stride…

Studies on whey demonstrate it’s an even better protein supplement than previously thought. Although whey protein’s health benefits have only recently been elucidated, the use of whey protein for medicinal purposes has been prescribed since the time of Hippocrates. In fact, there are two ancient proverbs from the Italian city of Florence that say, “If you want to live a healthy and active life, drink whey,” and, “If everyone were raised on whey, doctors would be bankrupt.”

In previous issues, we’ve chronicled the extensive research showing the many potential health benefits of whey protein concentrate. The majority of that research was done in the 1980s and early 1990s, and was extremely persuasive. Scientists have continued their research on whey proteins with even more impressive results. What follows is some of the more current, interesting and useful research on whey proteins.

Whey and Cancer

Additional studies have been done on animals regarding cancer-causing chemicals to see what effects whey protein concentrate would have on cancer prevention or treatment. Scientists fed rats various proteins and then subjected them to the powerful carcinogen dimethylhydrazine.

As with the previous research, the rats fed whey protein concentrate showed fewer tumors and a reduced pooled area of tumors (tumor mass index). The researchers found whey protein offered “considerable protection to the host” over that of other proteins, including soy.

1. Even more exciting, in vivo research on cancer and whey showed whey protein concentrate inhibited the growth of breast cancer cells at low concentrations (Baruchel S. and Vaiu G., Anti Cancer Research, 1996). Finally, and most importantly, a fairly recent clinical study with cancer patients showed a regression in some patient’s tumors when fed whey protein concentrate at 30 grams per day.

2. Whey and Glutathione

This new research using whey protein concentrate led researchers to an amazing discovery regarding the relationship between cancerous cells, glutathione (GSH) and whey protein concentrate. It was found that whey protein concentrate selectively depletes cancer cells of their glutathione, thus making them more susceptible to cancer treatments such as radiation and chemotherapy.

It has been found that cancer cells and normal cells will respond differently to nutrients and drugs that affect glutathione status. What is most interesting to note is the fact that the concentration of glutathione in tumor cells is higher than that of the normal cells that surround it. This difference in glutathione status between normal cells and cancer cells is believed to be an important factor in cancer cells’ resistance to chemotherapy.

As the researchers put it, “Tumor cell GSH concentration may be among the determinants of the cytotoxicity [poisonous to cells] of many chemotherapeutic agents and of radiation, and an increase in GSH concentration appears to be at least one of the mechanisms of acquired drug resistance to chemotherapy.”

They further state, “It is well-known that rapid GSH synthesis in tumor cells is associated with high rates of cellular proliferation. Depletion of tumor GSH in vivo decreases the rate of cellular proliferation and inhibits cancer growth.”

The problem is, it’s difficult to reduce glutathione sufficiently in tumor cells without placing healthy tissue at risk and putting the cancer patient in a worse condition. What is needed is a compound that can selectively deplete the cancer cells of their glutathione, while increasing, or at least maintaining, the levels of glutathione in healthy cells.

This is exactly what whey protein appears to do. In this new research it was found that cancer cells subjected to whey proteins were depleted of their glutathione, and their growth was inhibited, while normal cells had an increase in GSH and increased cellular growth.

These effects were not seen with other proteins. Not surprisingly, the researchers concluded, “Selective depletion of tumor GSH may in fact render cancer cells more vulnerable to the action of chemotherapy and eventually protect normal tissue against the deleterious effects of chemotherapy.” The exact mechanism by which whey protein achieves this is not fully understood, but it appears that it interferes with the normal feedback mechanism and regulation of glutathione in cancer cells.

It is known that glutathione production is negatively inhibited by its own synthesis. Being that baseline glutathione levels in cancer cells are higher than that of normal cells, it is probably easier to reach the level of negative-feedback inhibition in the cancer cells’ glutathione levels than in the normal cells’ glutathione levels.

Whey and LDL Cholesterol

The positive health benefits of whey protein concentrate does not end with its effects on immunity and cancer prevention and treatment. Whey protein concentrate also was found to be a potent inhibitor of oxidized low density lipoprotein cholesterol. Current research suggests that the conversion of LDL to oxidized LDL is the trigger that leads to atherogenesis… the formation of the plaque and lesions associated with atherosclerosis.

Therefore, any substance that prevents the oxidation of LDL is thought to be anti-atherogenic. Though animal-based proteins have traditionally been implicated as being pro-atherogenic, whey proteins appear to be an exception to the rule. whey protein is made up of several minor and major fractions, such as beta-lactoglobulin, alpha-lactalbumin, albumin, lactoferrin and immunoglobulin. It was discovered that the minor constituent responsible for the ability of whey protein concentrate to prevent the oxidation of LDL appears to be the lactoferrin fraction of the protein.

3. Lactoferrin In Whey

When the lactoferrin was removed from the protein, the ability of the whey-protein concentrate to prevent LDL oxidation was greatly reduced, leading the researchers to speculate, “Our results suggest that LF (lactoferrin) is the main factor responsible for the inhibitory effect of whey protein (on LDL) and it may function synergistically together with other factors in the whey protein, for example, alpha-lactalbumin.”

Another study using rats examined the effects of whey protein concentrate and casein on cholesterol and the risk factors of heart disease. Though casein (another milk-based protein commonly used in research) is known to raise cholesterol in humans and animals, whey protein has the opposite effect, leading the researchers to note, “At the high dietary protein level [300 gram per kilogram of feed] , whey protein significantly lowered plasma and liver cholesterol and also plasma triacylglycerols.”

4. The cholesterol-lowering effects of whey protein concentrate in this study also was associated with a reduction in LDL cholesterol. Most interesting was the fact that this effect on cholesterol was not seen when the animals were fed amino acid mixtures that simulated whey protein, so it is clear that there are properties within the whey that have these effects beyond that of its amino acid profile.

Whey and Bone Growth

Finally, whey protein appears to play a direct role in bone growth. Researchers found that rats fed whey protein concentrate showed increased bone strength and bone protein such as collagen. This discovery led researches to test whether or not whey protein directly stimulated osteoblast (bone cell) growth in vitro.

Whey protein was found to stimulate, dose dependently, total protein synthesis, DNA content, and increased hydroxyproline contents of bone cells.

5. It should be noted that not all whey protein concentrates are created equal. Processing whey protein to remove the lactose and fats without losing its biological activity takes special care by the manufacturer. The protein must be processed under low temperature and low acid conditions so as not to “denature” the protein. Maintaining the natural state of the protein is essential to its biological activity.
These research findings, combined with the previous decade of study on whey protein, should convince anyone that whey protein concentrate is truly the life-extension protein.

Higher Glutathione Levels and Whey

A decade-and-a-half of findings on the benefits of whey protein are far-reaching.

Previous Studies Include The Following:

Whey protein concentrate dramatically raises glutathione levels. Glutathione is an essential water-soluble antioxidant in the body that protects cells and serves as a primary detoxifier of harmful compounds such as peroxides, heavy metals, carcinogens and other toxins.

Glutathione also is intimately tied to immunity, and reduced glutathione levels have been associated with disease such as AIDS, atherosclerosis, Alzheimer’s disease and Parkinson’s disease, to name only a few. In fact, glutathione levels appear to be one way of modulating immunity.

6. Whey protein concentrate was found to consistently raise this extremely important immune stimulating antioxidant beyond that of any protein studied (including soy) to higher than normal levels in multiple animal studies.

7. A small pilot study with HIV-positive men who were fed whey protein concentrate found dramatic increases in glutathione levels of all the study participants, with two out of three men reaching their ideal body weight.

8. In fact, there have been several U.S. and international patents granted for the treatment of AIDS and improving immunity with whey protein concentrates.Whey protein improves immune function and fights infections. Animals fed whey protein concentrate consistently showed dramatic enhancement of both the humoral and cellular immune response to a variety of immune challenges, such as salmonella, streptococcus pneumonia 9 and extreme cancer-causing chemicals. This effect on immunity was not seen with other proteins. So proof Whey protein concentrate fights cancer!!

http://www.the-health.com

If you want to make the move from surveillance amateur to surveillance professional, you need high tech spy equipment. The best private investigators and bounty hunters use the best available spy equipment and bring in the results. Not only can good equipment help you improve your results, it also provides an impressive display of prowess and ability. Clients and potential customers alike will be impressed, and your reputation as a true professional that can get the job done spreads.

The best spy equipment, however, is not cheap. You will probably not get away with spending a couple thousand dollars to get professional grade equipment. When you purchase a superior system that comes with portable DVR, ability to remotely check on your cameras, and multi-channel capability, you will spend close to $10,000. You can spend as little as $3,000 or $4,000, but these models lack some of the more advanced features that will prove to your potential clients that you have what it takes to get the job done.

Other high tech spy equipment includes location trackers that allow you to follow your subject in real time and pull up a location history. Cheap location trackers that simply tell you where someone is at the time are abundant, but they do not keep track of history; you have to do that yourself, rather than work on another project at the same time. An advanced tracker hooked up to your advanced system allows you to periodically see where the subject is, and to find out where he or she has been.

High tech spy equipment also encompasses small hidden cameras that look like ordinary objects, portable bugs that allow you to hear in digital quality, and wireless systems that allow you to have a mobile base. You can check in on your cases from anywhere. When you have high quality equipment, your surveillance is more accurate and more efficient. It also instills your customers with a sense of confidence in your abilities.

Professional spy equipment is just like any other business expense. You need to spend money in order to get the best, and you will receive a return on your investment. So, if you are ready to be a true surveillance professional, upgrade your spy equipment.

(c) 2005 Copyright www.spyassociates.com. This article is about: Spy Equipment.

To learn more about Spy and Surveillance Products visit www.spyassociates.com Read other related articles at spyassociates.blogspot.com/

In many ways, the American home faces the danger of becoming a vanishing institution. Along with its extinction, the family unit as we know it is in danger. Children are not growing up in homes anymore. They are growing up in terminals.

In reality, the American family does not need a home. We are born in a hospital, educated in a college, courted in an automobile and married in a church.

We get our food at the delicatessen and restaurant. We spend our mornings at golf, our afternoons at the club and our evenings romping through the local mall.

When we die, the undertakers will bury us. We do not need a home; all we need is a garage.

Comparing today’s home with its counterpart of 100 years ago, there is quite a difference. With all of our advanced technology, are we, to quote a famous American president, “any better off now than then?”

The average housewife (to use a term not used since adultery was sin) has more timesaving gadgets than her century-ago counterpart. Still, she does not have enough time for her family.

All this time saved by these timesaving devices has to go somewhere. But, where?

Where does “saved time” go? Is there a time warp somewhere in outer space where time goes, like a retirement center for misspent minutes?

Why is it, the more time I save the less time I have? If only I could collect time in a bottle and save it for old age when I will really need it.

If anyone knows, please let me know for I do not have the time right now to figure it out.

Right now, I would not miss an hour here or an hour there.

Today’s mother can cook the family meal in a fraction of the time her grandmother did, but families no longer have the time to eat together. Most families today eat in shifts, thanks to modern technology like the microwave oven.

It seems like many of today’s women are more interested in bringing home the bacon than cooking it. Why didn’t dear old dad marry a woman like grandma?

In years gone by the family spent quality time together. There was a strong sense of family camaraderie and families actually knew each other, and all things considered, loved each other.

People today seem to be so busy trying to make a living that they never really get around to living. I know there are a few high holy days when they do meet, like Thanksgiving and Christmas. Sometimes they even recognize each other.

For many people, the only picture we have of the great American family is the television sitcom.

“Sitcom” is an interesting word. It is a combination of two words; “sit,” which means to watch for long periods of time without moving or speaking, and, “com,” which is short for comatose.

When you put these two words together, it means that the American public will not stand for morality or ethics in their home.

We sure have come a long way, baby. My only question is, how do we get back? Was it really necessary to come this far?

One thing missing in this whole situation is the lack of humor in the family.

I have come to believe in what I call, “laughter therapy.” This is the ability to get yourself back into good humor, and believe me, many people are in a bad humor.

As a pastor, I guess I see this side of people more than other professionals. The violence in the home today is a reflection of this bad humor. Parents are in danger of being murdered by their own children in their own homes.

Just ask any schoolteacher and he or she will tell you that the schoolyard, once filled with the excited voices of innocent children at play, is now the modern war zone in our country.

People today are filled with rage, and the blame rests with the home. It is in the home people learn the skills enabling them to cope with the outside world.

The reason so many people are not able to cope with society in general is that they have never learned to cope within the confines of the modern family unit.

I think that is why God designed the family unit as He did.

Try as we might, we can never improve on God’s creation. An important thing we need to develop within the home environment is the ability to laugh.

People do not know how to laugh or what to laugh at. Many are laughing at the wrong things.

Laughter is important. God created us with an enormous capacity to laugh. What a shame so many people have yet to discover this great and wonderful gift from God.

It is the responsibility of the home, I believe, to cultivate a healthy sense of humor. The family that laughs together can face any situation.

As the old saying goes, “Laugh and the whole world laughs with you; cry and people wonder why you didn’t get the joke.”

The Bible clearly instructs us, “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven … A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1,4 KJV.)

The problem with many is that we do not know when to do what.

Again the Bible says, “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.” (Proverbs 17:22 KJV.)

A sick world needs some powerful medicine. It is my conviction that this hilarity begins in the home.

About the Author

Award winning author and popular columnist living in Ocala, FL

Copyright The Quipping Queen 2005

I LEFT MY TOES IN TUKTOYAKTUK
– Or, Tittynoping Tales from a Tavern Fox –

Theolonius McTavish, a trivial talkingstock (an Old English term for an object of conversation) who inevitably forgets the punch-lines to knock-knock jokes and consequently is rarely offered free drinks by pub patrons unless they are woebegone and desperate for the companionship of a somewhat cabobbled, copper-nosed cronk (i.e. a mystified, jolly-nosed, gossiping sort of soul who frequently inhabits smoke-filled haunts with bad lighting and belching balladeers as the only form of nightly entertainment)

Being a mirthful mundivagant of sorts, I decided it was high time to don my gallant gumboots, garish gunnysack, and goose-down garb to take a gander at some far-flung places in need of my presence.

While some souls leave their hearts in San Francisco, I left another part of my anatomy somewhere else. If truth be told, I left my toes in Tuktoyaktuk, (along with a memorable meal of minute rice, mushy peas and milk pudding).

Why Tuktoyaktuk? Well why not! Any town with a tongue-twisting title like Tuktoyaktuk deserves to be visited … even by a six-water-grog, sky-boshing Scot like me. The fact that it’s situated in a godforsaken place, (actually it’s a charming little northern outpost nestled conveniently in the dark deep-freeze and mooching muskeg of Canada), is a truly bonus.

Before departing on my jocular journey, I needed to know a little more about the “Land of Blizzards, Bugs & Beer”. Visiting the second-largest nation on earth is one thing but having a conversation with a Canuck is quite another.

One piece of advice … begin every conversation with “So, how’s the weather …over there …up there, or …down there anyway? Then be prepared for a scintillating pity pot story that captures the essence of Canada — where it’s blinking cold and wet outside, it’s much too muggy or miserable to play outdoors, or it’s downright dangerous to stick a toe out the door with all the blasted bugs or bears camping on the front porch.

Second piece of advice…ignore weather forecasts (they’re about as reliable as a crapshoot in this country). Just bring along a big bumbershoot (capable of handling two months of something called “heavy precipitation”). Be prepared to brandish a large can of bug-repellent at the least sign of winged pesky pests (that appear during a one-month season called “summer”). And whatever you do, don’t forget to buy a six-pack of premium beer to wash down all the midges, mosquitoes, black flies or horse flies (as well as warm the cockles of your heart so you can cope with the other 11 months of brisk temperatures, blustery breezes and blinding blizzards).

Third piece of advice, use your imagination and figure out what you might want to find in a large-print, picture book called “A Manual on Moose, Mosquitoes & Mukluks”. Hint: You might want to explore the following: (1) why Santa Claus moved with his far-fetched family to the North Pole to set up a toy shop; (2) why some smelly soul called “Sasquatch” likes to hang out in provincial parks; and (3) why Snow White decided not to invest in cottage country because a carnivorous creature called “Little Red Riding Hood” got there first and devoured three French-speaking hens (who knows why), two calling birds (who probably wouldn’t shut up) and a big bad wolf (who was on sale at the butcher shop for $8.95 plus 7% GST).

Fare thee well Oh Canada. And, as a token of my deepest affection for your weed-whacking wilderness, wretched weather, and weird ways…may you enjoy my tingling toes, tidily pum. Because after walking in someone else’s moccasins and mukluks for a month or two, I now know why the deer and the antelope, not to mention the beaver and bear, plus the ‘Abominable Person of Snow’ all call this problematical place “home”.

About the Author

Theolonius McTavish, can be found lollgagging and lounging about like the lip-laboured, long-in-the-mouth mystery man he is in the company of other boisterous boffins and bird-duffers at The Court of the Quipping Queen